Amy Lage of Well Rested Baby wrote this article for Hoboken Mommies 24/7 about How to get a baby to sleep through the night!
Q. How do I get my baby to sleep through the night?
Aw, the age old quest that every exhausted parent shares. If only there was a quick fix answer! When pressed for a single sentence response I always say: ?You must provide your child with a healthy sleep foundation?. But what does that mean really? Oddly enough, we are not born knowing how to sleep. Most adults do not realize that sleep is a learned skill; we all learned to sleep so long ago that we assume for our kids it should be second nature. However, one of our most important jobs as parents is to teach our children how to sleep well. All babies are different ? some start sleeping through the night at twelve weeks of age and others still need a single nighttime feeding until they are nine months old. However, when babies are able to sleep through the night and when they actually do are often very different things. This depends mostly on you as the parent and the sleep habits you have instilled in your child. If you can consistently implement the components of healthy sleep I list below, your child will be well rested and have the skills in place to drop night feedings all on his own. I know it sounds like a daunting task, but if you apply these five simple rules your baby will be sleeping through the night in no time.
1. Sleep Should Take Place in Your Child?s Bed
Life would be much easier if we could tote our kids anywhere, at anytime and expect that they will get the sleep they need, but unfortunately that?s not the case. Babies and toddlers will achieve their very best sleep in their bassinet, crib, or bed, and it should be your goal for them to do the majority of their sleeping in this consistent location. Yes, very little babies have the amazing ability to sleep through anything, but once they reach about 2 months old they start to become social beings and have a much harder time blocking out what?s going on around them. Sleeping at home in their own darkened room will make sure there are no distractions. Also, babies and toddlers have better quality, more restorative sleep when they are sleeping in a stationary location like their own bed. Vibrations or motion during sleep (think strollers and car seats) force the brain into a lighter sleep state and reduce the restorative power of the nap. It?s similar in comparison to the sleep that you get on an airplane: ok, but not really restful. A nap on the go here and there is fine, but most naps should be taken in your child?s bed.
2. Follow Your Child?s Biological Clock:
Make sure your child naps at the times that are biologically appropriate for a child his age. We all have internal clocks called circadian rhythms that make us feel drowsy at certain times. It is easiest at these times to fall asleep and to get our lengthiest and most restorative sleep. These times change as your child grows older. If you can base your child?s nap schedule around these rhythms they will be able to achieve their best sleep. While it is sometimes daunting to follow a schedule, it will provide you the confidence to know exactly when your child will need to sleep and that he is getting the sleep that he needs.
3. An Early Bedtime
Bedtime should be early enough to ensure that your child goes to bed before they become overtired. A child who is overtired has a harder time falling asleep and staying asleep. Bedtime should not be a set time on the clock (for example 7pm every night). Instead it should shift from day to day based on how naps went that particular day. On a day where your child took poor naps, bedtime should be earlier. Conversely on a day where you child took great naps, they can go to bed a little bit later. Although it sounds counterintuitive, an early bedtime WILL NOT cause your child to wake earlier in the morning. In fact, early bedtimes help children to sleep later as they are better able to self soothe and consolidate sleep.
4. Have a Consistent Ritual in Place:
Babies and toddlers crave routine in their daily schedules as it helps them know what to expect. They follow patterns and your cues, so if you create a consistent soothing routine before sleep times then they will know to expect sleep to come next. Your soothing routine does not need to be anything complicated ? maybe a book and a nice soothing song ? but it needs to be consistent and should always end with you child going into bed sleepy, but awake.
5. Teach Your Child to Fall Asleep
If your child relies on you to be with them until they are fast asleep, how will they know how to put themselves back to sleep when they wake at night? Self-soothing is a skill that every child must learn. Once your child is on the correct schedule and is falling asleep before he becomes overtired, self-soothing will come much more easily. If taught early enough it is very easy to get your baby to learn to put himself to sleep with minimal effort and little or no tears. As a child becomes older and has not learned to self soothe, it is a bit more difficult as they have come to rely on you to do this skill for them. There are lots of methods for teaching your child to self soothe ? some methods involve more tears but work very quickly and some have little or no tears but take a bit longer. They all accomplish the same end goal ? teaching your child to fall asleep on their own. This is one of the best skills you can teach a child as it enables them to become well rested, independent and better able to handle the opportunities and challenges each day presents.
Amy Lage is a Family Sleep Institute certified Child Sleep Consultant. She is co-owner of Well Rested Baby. She offers a host of services including in person, phone, email and Skype/FaceTime consultations that can be tailored to meet any family?s needs and schedule. Please email her at amy@wellrestedbaby.com with any questions.
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